runDisney Halloween 2024

February 28, 2024

I know I said I was taking a break from races for 2024 (side note: I still haven’t ran since the NYC marathon in November and this break actually feels really good so it definitely was a much needed break! I am looking forward to getting back to it soon rather than dreading it so this was definitely necessary to reverse my burnout) but it seems like runDisney heard me and knew that I’m a sucker for Halloween shit and said hold my beer. They came out with their first ever Halloween theme races, and for Disneyland for 2024. I never got to run Disneyland races since they stopped offering them when I discovered the runDisney life in 2019, due to Disneyland and the city of Anaheim clashing heads since the races are on city property, while the Disney World races are on Disney’s official property so they can close down their own streets for us to race and not have to rely on permission from the city since well, they technically own the place. I guess they finally came to an agreement to bring them back this year and of course, your girl had to sign up. A new destination/parks to run, as well as being Halloween? YES PLEASE. Plus I fell in love with Oogie Boogie Bash the last time I attended, because let’s face it, Ernesto de la Cruz is so swoon-worthy as character you can meet. They really do him justice and I could watch him all day.

Luckily, last week I was able to snag yoga and the challenge registration. I was not able to get the 5k unfortunately. It sold out before it was my turn in the queue but fingers crossed, they will open up more spots later on if people drop out, so I can run and get all the medals for this race weekend.

I’m excited because I’ll be heading back to California as well as earning new medals in a new route. I’ll also finally get to see my friends Nicole and Matt again. I miss them so much all the time and I’m so thankful they offered to host me for this event to help me save on hotel costs for this trip. I’m also excited to stay with them because they’re always a fun time. And I’m excited to hopefully get to shoot with Marvin again. He always gets such dreamy photos for me in ao dai and my mom is getting a bunch made for me for the new year.

Now…to brainstorm and pick race costumes as well as park bounds…I’m thinking of doing the Mayor of Halloweentown definitely for one of the races. And maybe Oogie for another. But what to do for the 3rd race? And yoga outfit? Hmmmm. Hopefully I’ll be able to snag an Oogie Boogie Bash ticket too for one of the days I’m there so I’ll need a costume for then too.

Drop your ideas below if you have any for me!

My First World Major - The NYC Marathon 2023

November 9, 2023

I am officially a NYC Marathoner!

This Sunday, November 5th, 2023, I completed my first world major marathon, the TSC NYC Marathon. There is so much to say, where do I start?

Since the beginning, I really did not want to do this but got roped into it by a friend and once it was started, the stubborn part of me that hates not completing things once started said we were too far gone with the qualifiers and then pushed on through 6 months of training. And despite how hard it was, I repeated to myself at every training how close I was to the finish line that there’s no turning back now. I had already put in the work, I had to see it through. And then at the end, when I finally crossed that finish line, my entire being burst into tears, overwhelmed with emotion. Why? Why was I like this?

The TSC NYC Marathon is no joke. You can’t just sign up for it and train like you do with the runDisney races. The 6 World Majors (NYC, Chicago, Boston, Berlin, London and Tokyo) are special. Each race is unique with how to enter, some being exclusively difficult to attain, like the Boston Marathon. For NYC, I entered through their 9+1 qualifiers, meaning I had to sign up and run 9 of their NYRR qualifying races and volunteer for 1 event. It sounds easy but it’s still a lot of time and work, especially if you’re not a NYC local. I spent a lot of early mornings racing into the city to get to races on time, running them, and then racing back home in time for work because a lot of races were always on my days on instead of my days off work. It’s a lot when you’re trying to juggle real life at the same time. You have to do all this in one calendar year to qualify for an entry into the next year’s marathon. And then after I gained entry this year, I had to train for 6 months for the race, all through the hot and brutally humid summer months. So this was nearly 2 years worth of work that went into the execution of this one day. And all that work, is no small feat. Maybe that’s why it feels like so much when you cross the finish line. It is A LOT. A lot goes into completing this one task.

And it doesn’t involve just you. It takes a village. I can not sit here and say that I completed this alone. My friends and family played a big part in helping to get me to the finish line. From supporting me and being patient with me through the 6 month roller coaster of training (including scheduling and rescheduling events and being flexible with me so I could train), to helping host me for the weekend, to making signs and cheering me on all along the course and helping provide the final motivational cheer at the finish line and taking photos for me all along the course. To listening to all my grievances and rants and just having to listen over and over for the past year about this damn race, lol. From all the messages, texts, comments, heart reactions, everything. You don’t know how much of a world of difference every little thing that was done for me from my loved ones, makes. Those ‘little’ things, were truly big things for me. Marathon training isn’t just about the runner; all the friends and families supporting their runners, you all deserve this medal too for all you do putting up with us.

The Expo

I left Saturday morning, the day before the race to pick up my bib at the expo. The entire week leading up to the final day though, I was riddled with anxiety. I couldn’t eat breakfast that morning and then later that day, I could barely finish 2 slices of pizza. I had to force myself to eat because I knew I needed the fuel for the next day but my anxiety had been destroying my regular appetite. I knew that night was going to have insomnia issues as well. I guess because this is a “new” race course and system I had never done before, and didn’t know what to expect, I was entirely on edge as opposed to the excitement I have for runDisney races at this point, in which I have an easier time falling asleep, but still lacking in sleep because I want to do everything, lol. Pick your poison.

The expo was held at the Jacob Javits center. Of course, I’m familiar with Javits from the past 10 years attending so many different conventions there. Bib pickup was very easy and quick to get through. It was the first thing to do getting through the entrance to the expo. From there, I had to visit transportation to add on my Staten Island ferry option since I forgot to do it online before the cutoff. Luckily, it was very easy to sort out and the volunteers were great at helping me with everything. I picked up my race shirt afterward and then checked out official race merch but didn’t find anything I like so I moved onto the vendor booths. There were a lot of cute promotional booths giving away freebies like Gatorade, gels and sweatbands. They had a lot of tables and walls where you could draw and leave messages and signs for the race the next day. I found my name on the wall they had printed of every runner signed up for this which was pretty cool to see. It was inspiring to see people from all walks of life and all over the globe come here to take on this goal. It made me feel a little less alone in my anxiety.

Race Morning

Sunday was also daylight savings which meant an extra hour of sleep, or rather for me, an extra hour of anxiety. I did get some sleep though, thankfully, albeit waking up several times in the middle of the night thinking it was time to go. I got ready and left early to make the train in time to get on an earlier ferry than I was assigned, but ultimately I got to the race start later due to bus delays once we got off the ferry at Staten Island. It took a while to shuttle everyone. When I finally got to the village, it was about 9:30 so it was around 2 and a half hours travel time. Maybe it was good I left earlier. I would have had more anxiety if I was even more delayed leaving later on. Once I got there, I had 2 hours till my wave would start but I found a spot to sit, stretch and warm up, and eat a bagel. Again, I wasn’t hungry but I forced the bagel down knowing I would need the fuel for later. I had to pee by the time my corral opened though, which sucked but at least it was before the race and not during. The downsides to this not being a runDisney race, is that all the bathrooms on the course would only be port-a-potties. At Disney, we have the luxury of actual restrooms once you’re inside the parks. Luckily, I had a travel pack of wipes in my running belt for this reason, because I was deathly afraid of having to use a port-a-potty. I know, first world problems. But if you’re a runner, you know those things are doubly gross.

I’m glad I was able to pee before the race started because it would’ve taken up a lot of time, trying to take off and then repin my bib, and adjust everything back in place comfortably to continue on with the run, all the while, trying to not touch any part of the port-a-potty as minimally as possible, lol. It’s obviously inevitable but you want to minimize the grossness or it’s going to be in your head the whole run.

I got into my corral and then the nerves cranked up even more. The starting gun went off, the music was blaring and I had to take slow, controlled breaths to get through it and calm myself down as we made our way across the first part of the course, the Verrazano bridge.

The Race Course

There’s a lot to say about the course.

First off, it prides itself on being a course that goes through all 5 boroughs but only the real ones know it’s not really. If you look at the map, it ‘starts’ in Staten Island but this is really a scam. Not that we really want to be in Staten Island that long anyway but the only part that you’re in Staten Island for, officially on the race map, is the bridge. This is a joke. More of your getting to the starting point is the Staten Island part but the actual course itself is the short distance on the bridge before you go over the water into Brooklyn. Then you’re in Brooklyn for basically the length of a half marathon before diverting into Queens for 2 miles and then finally getting dumped into Manhattan for 3.5 miles and then to the Bronx for literally ONE mile. Then you get spit back into Manhattan for the final stretch of 5.2 miles going downtown through Central Park. You don’t really get to the iconic views of NYC so much as the neighborhoods so for those who have never ran it and come in thinking it’s a great way to “see” NYC, I’m sorry to say, you may be in for a disappointment.

BUT! That’s not to say the course itself isn’t still great. Going into the race, I read someone describing this course as NYC’s biggest block party and honestly, it is the perfect way to describe it. I love Disney, but compared to NYC, New Yorkers really SHOW UP. The entire course, save for the bridges and some short stretches of a few blocks or so, the entire course is lined with people cheering you on and no one is more supportive than a New York stranger on this day. They make the most creative, wild, out of pocket signs! And they pass out SO MUCH food. I saw so many passing out cut up banana pieces, boxes of fruits snacks, bags of pretzels, gels, candy, soda cans, beer, literally anything you need as a runner, they were there for you. I even saw in the neighborhood of Greenpoint, a man on the side with his bbq grill set up, making hot dogs for any runner that wanted one passing by. It was SO MUCH FUN to run this course and see everything and everyone screaming at the top of their lungs, screaming your name too if you had it displayed on your shirt, telling you that YOU CAN DO THIS and truly rooting you through it, wishing the best for you. It really helps push you to the end.

I am fortunate enough to have my friends there that day for me supporting me, stationed at the beginning of the course at 4.5 miles and at the end right before the finish line. Danny and Kayla gave me the push I needed to get through the first 13 miles in Brooklyn. I was really worried because it felt so grueling looking at the map but they truly helped me get through it. Seeing their faces smiling back at me and rooting me on was really heartwarming.

I was doing okay for the most part, running as much as I could and slowing down to grab Gatorade and water to stay hydrated. I slowed down to a walk on the bridge into Manhattan because that part was brutal but when I got into Manhattan I was able to run for a bit up until mile 19. That was where I start to feel the wall hit. You can even see it on the map below where I hit the wall. I had a good half marathon for the first 13 miles but then started to decline in the middle. The red line shows pretty much where mile 19 was and it went downhill fast for me. I alternated between running and walking but ultimately at mile 20, my legs gave in and said no more. No matter how much I tried to pick it up and run again, it just wouldn’t happen. So I forced myself through the pain, dragging my feet to at least walk, telling myself to at least just put one foot in front of the other. At that point it feels like you have two lead feet, dragging cinderblocks down the road. But I had come this far and I wasn’t about to give up now. One girl cheering on the side saw me and dumped her bag of pretzels into my hands. I took them and ate them slowly making my way to the next water station and remembered I had Tylenol in my belt. I took the Tylenol but I think by that point it may have been too late because I didn’t really feel any better from it, but hopefully it helped slow down the damage that was internally happening. I started bargaining and compromising with myself, like I was going through stages of grief. The NYC Marathon app had predicted I could finish by 5:30 best case scenario, if I had been able to keep the pace I was going at mile 19, but it was already going downhill. I would have been more than happy if my finish time was 6 hours. But at this point, I just wanted to be able to finish. I was so close! I cried thinking about giving up because I had come so far, I was almost back into Manhattan, I couldn’t possibly stop now. But the pain was a lot. So I told myself, “Okay. So you have to walk. At least walk the rest of this to mile 26. Conserve whatever strength you have left for the last 0.2 so you can at least RUN the last part and finish strong across the finish line for a good pic.” I did NOT want to walk across the finish line. So that’s what I did. I kept walking, thrusting my arms to the side to help propel me forward for some speed. I made it into Manhattan and kept going. At mile 24, I noticed that’s when a lot of people started to go down. I saw a girl in front of me with her legs all taped up but I noticed what looked like blood coming through the tape. I saw clusters of people on the ground on the side of the path in Central Park. I heard a volunteer’s radio go off and say “I have one person unconscious.” I saw one girl with two friends on each side, trying their hardest to keep her up and going, as her feet dragged, like a ragdoll. It was brutal. People were dropping like flies. I thought to myself, as bad as it was for me, I wasn’t their level of bad yet so let’s keep going. I smiled through the pain for all the cameras (because vanity, lol) and made it to mile 26. My friends texted me they were somewhere very shortly after, close to the finish line and I looked out for them as I made my way to the end. And the moment I saw them, was exactly what I needed to propel to the finish! I instantly perked up, and tried to pick up the pace and run again. I smiled through my tears, running past them and got to the finish line! One of the announcers saw me and complimented me on my outfit as I dashed past her, making me feel super cute enough to victoriously cross over.

And that’s when it happened. I instantly burst into tears, in disbelief that I finished. I was disappointed it took me so long with my final time being 6:30:18 but at the same time, I was really emotional that I didn’t give up and pushed through the pain. And boy was I in pain. I hobbled over to receive my medal and another finisher was kind enough to take a few photos for me. I stupidly thought I could cross my legs and point my toes to pose, only to discover my foot cramp up immediately. More tears, lol. I waited for it to subside and then grabbed my recovery bag and poncho and slowly hobbled out of the park to the family reunion area to find my friends. I cried the whole way there as all the thoughts came rushing through my head post race.

Recovery

In the end, despite taking forever and change to finish, I am proud that I finished this. I worked really hard and I need to work at being kinder to myself and give myself more credit. I know I’m not fast, I made my peace with that but I am still disappointed that it took me longer due to hitting the wall. I struggle with this even in training. My main goal though, due to Dopey PTSD, was to finish this with the most minimal amount of injury. Considering the battlefield I saw on the course towards the end, I am very happy to report I did not need to go to the medic tent. For the first 2 days post race, my legs were definitely sore and I had to hold onto the walls to get to the bathroom in the morning but I was doing okay so far healing and recovering. I was able to go for a 2 mile walk around the neighborhood on the second day and my appetite was slowly coming back after being gone last week due to all my anxiety. I’ve been allowing myself to eat whatever I crave in this recovery phase.

I did hit a snag yesterday though. Tuesday night, I went to bed with slight stomach upset but thought nothing of it. Wednesday morning I woke up fine, but when I tried to go get groceries, I found my abdominal area cramping like I've never felt before. I almost had to pull over from the pain but I was able to make it home okay. I laid down and tried to wait it out before getting ready for work but it kept going for the next few hours. When I tried to get up to get ready for work, I felt dizzy. I laid down again and realized it was so bad I had to call out of work. I took a hot shower when the pain subsided for a bit and was able to get it under control with the heat from the hot water. After I got out of the shower I thought I was in the clear. But within 30 minutes the pain came back, and worse than ever. I finally gave in and asked my husband to drive me to the ER. It's funny because when I called out, work was giving me a hard time, requesting I have a doctor's note for my sick call, because it was the day after my “vacation”/PTO being used. I understand policy but I still think it was ridiculous they were running with this because I rarely call out, let alone call out sick, nor have a track record like others do at my job for crying wolf. Anyways, here I was, showing up at work after all. Just not in the capacity they wanted. I was there for a few hours and they gave me fluids and medication to help lessen the cramping. The pain never went away but it felt a little duller thankfully after a liter of IV fluids. They couldn't figure out a clear diagnosis of what it was because my labs came back normal with the exception of elevated CPK which is expected post marathon, and some minor labs slightly elevated. All they could say was that there wasn't something too major going on, so they chalked it up to post marathon stress on the body due to severe dehydration since I hadn't really upped my water intake since Sunday nor was I really intaking any electrolytes since. I picked up a heating pad on the way home and it helped me sleep through the night last night although intermittently. My advice to you is to take post marathon recovery seriously. EAT even if you don't feel hungry and hydrate hydrate hydrate with both water and electrolytes. Don't go back to normal routine just yet. Up those calories and get those carbs in. I was going to go back to the gym later this week but I guess not now lol. I promise I'll be good and go back next week but take an extra week off from running.😅

I don’t think I want to run any more full marathons though. I think I am finally retiring from full marathons. The half is my favorite/farthest distance I’m willing to run because it’s still challenging without making me feel like I hate myself. My fastest half marathon time is 2:30 and I’m more than happy with that. My full marathon times are embarassingly humbling. And at the same time, I am proud to say that I completed this. One of my 40 before turning 40 goals was to run one full marathon and now, after just turning 35, I can actually say I completely 2 full marathons. That’s crazy. It really goes to show, you are more than capable of doing hard things if you have the discipline and put in the hard work. It doesn’t matter if it takes you longer than someone else. Remember to run your own race and be proud of what YOU can do.

Final thoughts

Although regardless of how I feel about the full and how hard the NYC one was, I do have to say, I’m glad I did it. I finally did one world major and can say I’m a marathoner, especially to those who don’t believe runDisney races are real. Although honestly, if we’re being real, of course they’re real, because Dopey is EXTREMELY hard and I still can’t believe I did that. I don’t have another world major to compare it to, but I can attest to the people who have done more than just NYC that they’re right. NYC is an incredible city to run. There’s really nothing else like it when it comes to the crowds. Disney has nothing on NYC’s crowd and energy. So if you’re interested in running a world major, while I do not recommend anyone run a marathon because honestly it sucks lol, I do recommend the NYC marathon if you had to pick one. Like they say, it will MOVE you. New York forever remains unmatched. This city is deserving of all the praise it gets.

Insanity Round 3

September 12, 2022

This is my third time completing the Insanity program in it’s entirety! I know I’ve done it before but I still can’t believe it sometimes because of how hard and intense the program is, and how long it is since it lasts 63 days. I did take 3 extra rest days due to life and my schedule but I tried really hard to show up everyday; wake up, do the workouts and stick to it as much as possible even when I didn’t feel up to it. I told myself the sooner I finish, the closer I’ll be to the end. And I’m glad I did. It really helps to build on my discipline when motivation is lacking. When you have a routine, it helps to build it into a life long habit.

I had no “goals” this round other than needing a break from running and the gym and I think this helped. I’m excited to get back to lifting and start training for Princess 2023 as the weather starts to cool down. This past August was also a hot one with heat waves all around so it was a good break from running to avoid the heat and that UV index. I probably would have gotten sun poison. I did get rid of my nasty tan from all the races earlier this year so that's a win!

I didn’t lose any weight this time around, but rather I gained weight. I feel it in my thighs mostly and since Insanity is a lot of jumping and body weight exercises, I’m thinking it might be leg muscle. I’m hoping to lean it out this fall if possible. I’m not exactly hating the way I look at the moment, but I am still psychologically stuck on the number for some reason. I did force myself to weigh myself less often this summer to not let it bother me and it did help my mental health. One of these days, I won’t be a slave to it anymore.

Physically though, I honestly don't see a big difference throughout all 63 days fit test checkpoints picture-wise and annoyingly for me, the scale says I'm heavier at 133lbs currently. I'm still trying to work through my mental demons that make me feel like a higher number is a bad thing when it's not because I know it's good lean muscle gain, but it's something I'm still working on to this day.

One day I want to not be fixated on that one number but it's a work in progress. I want to be free from that chokehold it has on me. I want to be able to be proud of the work I put in to my fitness because I do think I've been working really hard at it for the past 5 years and I want things like scale numbers to stop overshadowing how I feel about myself. I want to stop beating myself up about it and stop thinking I'm not enough still. Last night I came across old pictures from Aug 2014 and I’m so mad at myself because I remember feeling so discouraged and disappointed in myself at the time thinking I was fat when in reality and in retrospect, I looked completely fine. I was working hard training to look good for my wedding and I had mentally psyched myself out thinking I was heavier than I was because I felt like absolute shit being the “heaviest” of my friends when they took our measurements to alter our dresses. It had me fucked up. And I wish I could say things are different today but honestly I know they're not. I'm still working on it and those demons are still very much here today creeping up from time to time. But that's the reality of body dysmorphia. It really messes with your self image and blurs that mirror image into thinking you're staring into a fun house mirror of yourself no matter what size you are.

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Fit test results-wise, I am proud though of the way I progressed with each check in day. Some moves, I didn’t make a huge improvement but I am insanely proud that my starting point was better than my starting point the last time I did this program in 2020. It’s crazy how much more I could do in certain exercises because I thought I had reached the max on the day 50 mark but the day 63 mark I found myself still improving. I’m also very proud of this given I’m really sore currently from Sunday’s lifting session in the gym and 5k run, both being my first day back to lifting and running after a 2 month hiatus. I was pretty sore but I pushed myself to get this done today and I thought that soreness would hinder those numbers from getting higher but it turned out better than I thought. You really never start from scratch again once you build a good foundation. You start from experience. It feels great to look at these results. These are the true numbers that define the work I put in over the past 63 days.

I feel like I have a love-hate relationship with the Insanity program. It’s hard, it’s definitely hard. Some days you just dread it because you know how hard it’s going to be. But I push through and force myself to get through it because as long as you just push play, do what you can, it’s over quick and you feel so good afterwards. I like that you get a lot done in a short amount of time. It truly is a good workout and maximizes your time if you have just 40 minutes to an hour to work out. And the fit test really does help in seeing your progress well instead of just relying on scale numbers and physical changes. You feel stronger every time you see your fit test results go up every 2 weeks. I always feel like I won’t do well and I always surprise myself. Would I want to do this again? Absolutely not. Will I do this again? Probably yes. Why do I say no and yes? Because it’s an absolutely grueling workout and at the same time, effective. It’s always a great way to shake up my current routine when I get bored or burned out and need something else. Which is probably why I keep coming back to it every few years.

Until the next time I do this, I’m looking forward to picking up the pace and getting back to running and lifting weights starting this week. Hopefully this helped jumpstart my body out of its plateau. Only time will tell. In the meantime, I do want to say I’m proud of myself for my consistency in staying active and maintaining my discipline even if I don’t always feel motivated to work out. I started this fitness journey back in 2018 and it truly is never ending. To this day I’m still learning new things and working on the mental aspect of it to accept my body in all it’s changes, stages and developments. I would love to say I'm doing better than those days but if I'm being honest with myself, my body dysmorphia and how I view myself is still a work in progress. I'm trying to work on it but the mental part is a much slower process. But I guess that's a part of the fitness journey. The self love part. I also need to step away from toxic people and sources that make me feel otherwise about my body. I need to give myself credit for how far I’ve come in the past 5 years I’ve put into this. I’m so proud of my work with Crowned Athletics and Popflex and how they reached out to me to help with campaigns. I mean, I’ve got to be doing something right, right? I need to surround myself with more people and vibes that make me feel better and not worse about my body to help overcome these demons. There is a lot of unlearning and work I need to do to really work on the mental part of that journey. Sometimes I wonder if I need therapy and how it could really help fix that part of my mental health. One day though hopefully if I ever come close to attaining that peace. I don't think I'll ever get over it because it's so ingrained in us growing up in culture, social media, and through the people who we interact with regularly and influence our lives, but I do want to be able to one day no longer associate my weight with my happiness and self worth and love myself the way I am no matter what my specific gravity on Earth is. I hope I can give myself that gift of that level of grace one day.

Here’s to the next few months, getting back to lifting and running and hopefully leaning out to finish out the year!