I'm turning 33 today. I remember around this time last year I had a really hard time as I was left alone with my thoughts and all the pressures of the pandemic and the political climate came crashing down on me along with my growing older. It's not that I'm afraid of growing older and the actual number, it's just that with all the things I had planned for last year was getting postponed and then canceled, I realized that the timeline I had thought out for myself wasn’t going to happen and with no definite idea of when things will be able to get back on track, I felt like I was being cornered. I wondered if I should pivot and work on different goals that I wanted to work on later on in life after the goals I'm currently working on were completed. But the thing is, I'm not sure I'm ready to tackle on those goals yet and I worry they may affect the goals that I wanted to work on this year. Will I ever be able to get back to them? Or will that window of opportunity be gone forever?
I talked to a few different people who were able to give me a different perspective and shed light and help me feel more comfortable in whatever I decide to do. I still don't know exactly what path I'm going to take from here, but these are the things I've come to learn at 33.
You are allowed to change. When presented with new information, don't be afraid to admit you were wrong and change your opinion. It doesn't make you a hypocrite. Hypocrites say one thing but continue to do another. You’re allowed to say “I was wrong. This is what I’ve learned.”
Do not expect everyone to be happy for you. Jealousy is an ugly thing and it comes from a bad place of insecurity most of the time. It's not that they don't want to be happy for you, but when someone is not at the same level as you nor willing to put in that same work, you come off as bragging. Learn to revel in your own pride of accomplishment.
Don’t rely on others approval for your self value. You'll die waiting. And besides, your self-worth shouldn't be held in what someone else thinks of you. It should be held in what you think of you. Your self-worth shouldn’t be tied to your social media following or the number on a scale or your anything trivial.
Try new things. Sometimes it seems scary. Sometimes it seems like a lot of work. Don't be afraid to jump in, though. I'm still learning at 33 and I wish I had started sooner. But there's always going to be someone out there a step behind you that’s saying the same. So you might as well start now. One day you’ll look back and see your growth and progress and be like damn. I did that. And you’ll wish you had started sooner. Tomorrow is not promised today. Stop putting stuff off. Stop making excuses. Just do it.
Learn to say no and don’t be afraid to voice when you don’t want to do something or when you don't feel comfortable. Don't let anyone guilt you into something you don't want to do or get involved in. People need to learn to respect your boundaries. The only people who get upset anyway are the ones who benefitted from you not having none.
And secondly, learn to respect other people's boundaries. Don't push other people into something they're not ready for. Everyone moves at a different pace and rhythm and if they're not at the same wavelength you are, you shouldn't be upset with them.
It’s harder to make friends as you get older. But don’t be afraid to! I’ve been making effort these past years towards building new relationships and friendships with new people through Instagram since we’re confined to the virtual world a lot due to the pandemic. I’ve been making friends with runners, other Disney fanatics and other bloggers. Sometimes it’s hard to go out there and shoot your shot introducing yourself and then waiting to see if you’ll hit it off, but I’ve found that the ones that I took the time to reach out to, to ask questions, discuss common interests, ask for advice and tips, ended up being very rewarding. I love learning that the other party felt the same way you did about them and then BOOM! Friendship magic. Shit is weird.
You’re not too old for anything. Honestly. Sometimes I feel like a certain movie, book or fashion style is too “kiddy” for me. But who really cares at the end of the day? I watched a lot of cute teen movies, read a lot of books recently that aren’t exactly “adult” or “mature” reading level but they were all really fun to watch and read. And I still dress like a kid but honestly, I have no interest still wearing business clothes or looking age-appropriate. The wrinkles will age me when they come, why speed up the process?
Be kinder to yourself. You need to learn to talk to yourself the way you talk to your friends and family. You need to treat yourself better. We are our own harshest critics always. But we would never treat our loved ones the way we harshly treat ourselves so why do we do it? I’m still learning to be better at this unfortunately so I don’t have a formula yet to improve on this self love. I just know that at 33 I still catch myself hating my body no matter how good it is to me and carries me through everything. I hate my legs because I think they’re too thick for my own liking but I need to remember that it’s these two legs that literally carry me through so much. All the miles it endures as I subject it through marathon training. I also need to remind myself that our bodies are always works in progress. It’s always changing. And once upon a time, I wished for the body I have now so I need to start appreciating it better. And it’s looking back that you realize that you had it all along what you thought you were missing.
Don’t take what you have for granted. This is easier said than done but remember to count your blessings for it can all be gone tomorrow. The lesson of 2020 as everything changes literally overnight, within minutes. Things you once thought were impossible, are now possible. And things you thought would always be there, are now gone. And what you thought would never happen, are happening. I mean that in both good and bad ways. Don’t be afraid to tell the people you love that you love them. Every day. Hug them. Shower them in all the ways you know how with your love. Spend time. Make time. Take pictures. There will never be enough pictures one day when you look back. So take them now. Don’t hold back because one day you’ll wish you had told them everything you felt. Don’t let it be too late.
One of the biggest things I’ve learned so far in my 30s that a lot of people are still stuck on, is that money is definitely not everything. Sure it’s great to be financially secure, but you’ll find that at the end of the rainbow, it’s not what’s going to make you happy. You still need the other pillars in life. So don’t get stuck on being the richest bitch in the cemetery. Focus on building a beautiful life. Surround yourself with friends and family. We did not get put here on this Earth to flaunt our financials and following count. Stop worrying about the likes and stop basing your value off that bullshit. In the grander scheme of things, it’s not necessary. What IS necessary is your mental health, your physical health, your inner peace with who you are. Work on the more important things and you’ll live a much more fulfilled life. Be more authentically you and the rest will follow.
Cheers to 33!
