All Magic Comes With A Price

June 14, 2019

At this point, just unfollow me. I never meant for this to happen but the mouse has consumed my life. My next two vacations I have planned are to, surprise, surprise, Disney.

One is for next year to conquer the runDisney Princess Half Weekend races so that's pretty far ahead.

The other one, I booked just last week and it's going to be my first Disney cruise.

I actually had intended to try and broaden my horizons by visiting at least one new country this year and had my heart set on Italy but a few factors played into my decisions to switch gears for a bit. First off, flights for the dates I wanted were not only tricky but costly. Planning an itinerary is also a lot of work so every time I sat down and tried to research it to strategize it, it ended up stressful and overwhelming. I felt this way about Paris too but Paris was a little easier because it was just one city and everything simply fell into place nicely like puzzle pieces. For Italy, there are a few cities I want to visit and I would ideally like to hit them all up in one visit so the logistics of it is tricky. It also gets expensive trying to do a lot of cities in one trip, traveling from one spot to another in a matter of days. I also worried that I might be hopping too fast in between places. Like for Japan, I explored 3 cities in 2 weeks, which I enjoyed but I did feel like my experience could’ve been better had it not been so rushed. For Paris, it was just Paris and I was able to soak it all in and enjoy it at my own pace since it was just one city. If I didn’t get to do something, I simply just did it the next day. I don’t want to travel and visit these places just to check it off my list. I want to be able to breathe and really take it all in. And of course, I want some beautiful photos for the gram and for my own memories to keep forever. Not that I don’t intend on revisiting Italy if I do enjoy my trip but I also want to enjoy Italy to as much of its full potential as possible. By this, I mean I don’t want to go just to check it off my list, half ass and it and then have to go back because I didn’t do everything I wanted. Especially because it wasn’t in the budget the first time around. I got lucky with my Paris trip that all the costs were pretty contained and within budget thanks to a nice tax refund. Unfortunately if you’ve been following me, you know that this year’s taxes were not so kind (Thanks Trump!) and I didn’t have that extra help to subsidize any traveling this year, but rather a nice hefty tax bill to pay. Anyway. I’m slowly digging myself out that hole still but I refuse to allow this setback to stop me from living my life. I still want to go somewhere in the fall and celebrate my birthday. But unfortunately, I think I will have to put Italy on the back burner for now. I’ll still go one day, but I’d rather that when I do, I’ll be able to do it fully my way and not cut corners just to go.

Another reason I ended up giving up Italy for 2019 is because of my husband. He’s not fond of flying and preferred a vacation in which we didn’t have to fly anywhere. He also wanted a vacation where he doesn’t have to ‘work’ so much; he wanted something more relaxing and less running from place to place exploring and moving onto the next site so quick. This made me feel really bad and probably was the grain of rice that tipped the scale in Disney’s favor. I realized all the vacations we’ve been on, have been mainly for me. This adorable boy has been tirelessly chasing after me as I run from place to place and ask him to take photos for the gram for me. He follows me everywhere I want to go and does everything I want. I need to take a step back and let him have an actual vacation for once. I felt bad because we work such opposite schedules and rarely see each other and when we do and get to go on vacation, I’m really just making him work some more instead of being about to sit back, relax and enjoy his time off.

So this Disney cruise was the compromise that fit both our interests.

This idea was actually implanted by Zuckerberg in my Instagram ads. I swear that guy is trying to sabotage me. I saw an ad for a Halloween Disney cruise a few months ago and out of curiousity, I clicked on it. There were several routes, ships and sailings but one cruise in particular, I swear was put together to bait me. And I can’t even lie because at this point, I definitely bit. This cruise sails exactly a day after my birthday, stops at Castaway Cay and then in Port Canaveral so I can go do Disney World for a day. And surprise, surprise guess what day that is. You bet your bottom dollar, it’s exactly Halloween day.

The cruise ended up perfectly for my husband as well because it’s not a lot of stops in port anywhere so I can’t drag him anywhere to take so many photos for the gram so it’s maximum relaxing all week. It’s only one day in Disney so it definitely minimizes how much running all over the parks he’s going to be dong as well.

I’m disappointed there won’t be any new destinations on this cruise for me to add to my travel list but I mean, I can’t be too mad because Halloween in Disney, as well as the cruise itself is Halloween themed onboard. So it satisfies my favorite holiday needs. I mean, I’m also going to have unlimited Mickey bars on board all damn week, how much more can a girl dream? Hahaha. I’m also told that the ship I’m sailing on has mango soft serve. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. INSERT BIG HAPPY SMILE. It’s also supposed to have a Tangled themed restaurant as well so I’m excited for that too.

The only really major con to the cruise I would have to say is the biggest deterrent as to why I never cared to consider a Disney cruise in the past. The cost. Disney cruises are one of the most expensive cruises around, unfortunately. It’s funny because being a Disney fan, you’d think I would’ve been all for one already in the past but I actually had no interest in them because I thought they were overpriced and I wasn’t crazy about being on a Disney cruise because well it’s Disney. Disney is more family oriented and thus meaning it has a higher percentage of families and kids on board. I wasn’t keen on being on a ship with that many more kids than a regular cruise. But one of my retired coworkers actually did recommend me to try a Disney cruise one day in my life. I asked him about the kid factor and he actually said it wasn’t too bad on his trip and wasn’t something I needed to worry about. So this is definitely something I will have to report back on after I return.

So despite having to delay Italy until I can afford the dream trip I want, this fall we will be setting sail on our first ever Disney cruise! I won’t lie, I am a little disheartened about Europe but at the same time I am definitely excited about finally trying out a Disney cruise and seeing what all the hubbub is about. I’ve been told by a few followers they enjoyed their cruise and that Disney is simply incomparable to other cruiselines after that which can be both good and bad. Good in the fact that it’s worth the money, but bad in the fact that I’ll be in another Contemporary situation. Last year I stayed at the Contemporary for my birthday and balled out. Now that my husband’s tasted the finer things in life, we can’t downgrade in Disney hotels from the Contemporary. He refuses to stay anywhere else besides anywhere on the Monorail line, hahaha. A similar situation happened when we cruised with Royal Caribbean back in college and then with Norwegian for our honeymoon. Norwegian is so much better by far in quality, food, cabin space, service, etc. And we can’t go back from a balcony room to an inside cabin either. Once you tasted the finer things in life, you can’t go back. So with that said, I fear we may be making a mistake, hahahaha. I want this Disney cruise to be amazing to rationalize how much I had to pay, but I also fear that it actually might be too amazing and we’ll want to only go with Disney moving forward. But that’s the price we pay as we move onward to bigger and better things in life. All magic comes with a price, dearie.

When They See Us

June 12, 2019

I have honestly never heard of and knew about the Central Park Five case until this week. It popped up on my Netflix and it looked interesting and reading the description had me curious. Within minutes I was hooked in and even more curious as the first episode played on. I started Googling and looking up more information regarding the case.

If you lived under a rock like me, When They See Us is a 4 episode Netflix special telling of the true story of 5 boys who were unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time. On the night of April 19, 1989, a big group of teenagers attacked, assaulted and robbed several people in Central Park. The police were called to come in and take care of the situation. As police apprehended whoever they could find, a woman was found beaten, raped and left for dead in the park. Desperate to solve this brutal crime, they fabricated and fed this story to the 5 boys they had in their custody and coerced them into confessing something they didn’t do. This case is known as the Central Park Five. One boy was dragged into it simply because he wanted to support his friend who was being brought in for questioning. He ended up paying for it the most. Years later, the real perpetrator confessed to the crime but it was too late. The boys had already been convicted and served their time and the real rapist was never tried and prosecuted for this crime in which 5 innocent boys had paid the price for, because the statute of limitations had passed.

As they unfolded the tragic fate of each boy as they paid for a crime they didn’t commit, each performance was outstanding in showing the struggle and hardships they went through as they were incarcerated and lost years of their lives away and then slowly tried to transition back into society with so much notoriety and negativity as wrongfully convicted felons. The actor who portrayed Korey Wise’s story did a phenomenal job as episode 4 was emotionally hard to watch and truly eye-opening through all the themes it explored. I loved that they even touched upon the relationship between him and his transgender sister, played by Isis King, one of my favorite contestants from America’s Next Top Model, back in the day when I used to watch religiously.

I asked coworkers about it who lived through it since 1989 was infant years for me. It’s really unfortunate how the media made it out to be for these boys who eventually were exonerated many, many years later. They were BABIES when this happened to them. And were incarcerated till they were full grown men. Nothing can and will ever give them the time they lost back. It’s so sad. $41 million in my opinion is definitely not enough for what happened to them. The damage to their lives, families, reputation, everything. Watching this special made me so sad and so mad at the same time to see that this injustice is still existing and happening in the world today.

To drive the knife further in, they aired a clip of what Trump said during this time and it’s even more maddening. I looked up his involvement in the Central Park Five case and it’s really hypocritical and more frustrating to see the double standard in which this orange Mussolini voiced his opinion about how they deserved the death penalty and yet is the same jamoke who elected a rapist to the Supreme Court. As well as referred to violent white supremacists as “very fine people.” And then to this day, after the 5 were exonerated and the real rapist confessed and was proven through DNA evidence, he is still in denial of the 5’s innocence. He has refused to admit that he was wrong and continues to peddle yet another racist lie. It’s amazing to me how people still support this idiot.

This piece spoke to me because it was so beautifully put together and well executed to tell the story of these 5 boys. The casting was perfect and the performances were powerful. There is much to take away from this and will leave you scouring the internet to learn more. It will make you angry. It will make you sad. It will move you. It’s only 4 episodes long but you’ll find yourself both wanting to finish it but needing to take a break in between each because it’s so hard to watch because of how heart wrenching it is. I usually don’t like recommend the shows I watch because I do watch a lot of garbage and I watch some weird shit sometimes that isn’t for everyone, but this series I highly recommend no matter what audience you’re part of. It’s worth the time to watch and educate yourself about the injustices that happened and is still happening around the country today.

If you watched it, sound off below! I’d love to read your thoughts and discuss further.

Toxic

June 10, 2019

Have you ever been super excited to share something with someone only to be rejected or they not share that same enthusiasm back? Or worse, instead of being offered support and encouragement, you were hit with cynicism, doubt and negativity?

Rewind to January 2018. I hit rock bottom. I was at my heaviest weight, not fitting into my clothes the way I wanted and hating how I looked in everything and in the mirror. I finally decided to get my life together and make a change. I started taking my workouts more seriously and stepped it up. I worked with a personal trainer, I started lifting, I changed my diet, I ramped everything up. I went almost everyday. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and pounds started finally shedding off the scale and the weight came off and my body toned up. I was finally looking more and more like the old me, but better. Even leaner and healthier than before. And after a while, even when I reached my goals, I found myself still continuing with my diet and exercise. As cliche as it sounds, it really was a lifestyle change. I eat clean almost every day. Even at parties and other food filled events, I try to make the smarter choice. Of course I cheat every now and then but it’s just 1-2x a month. Do I miss my favorite foods? Absolutely. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t dying for some mac and cheese, ice cream, McDonald’s fries and a Big Mac. But I remember how eating all these foods on a regular basis made me feel and that’s what shakes me right back into reality to make the better decision. I remind myself I like how I look now and that’s how I discipline myself into making the better choice when it comes to food. I make myself go to the gym because if I don’t, the day doesn’t feel right. I’m actually lower in energy if I don’t go, ironically. It gives me the boost I need to go about the day.

But this is a lot of digressing. What am I getting at?

What I want to talk about today is what I found during this fitness journey of mine. When speaking to other people trying to lose weight and adopt and a healthier lifestyle too, I found that a lot of them experienced the same thing. What was it?

It's not an uncommon thing. It's just not always talked about and addressed but when going through this type of journey or maybe any type of journey where you’re trying to take steps towards a better life for yourself, you sometimes face some backlash. Not everyone will understand why you’re choosing to do this and not everyone will be as supportive as they should be. They will be negative about your decisions and try and tell you there’s no reason to change. Stand your ground. They will be cynical and believe you can’t do it so why bother. Prove them wrong.

I had a toxic person in my life try to tell me I didn’t need to change as they were trying to feed me more of the unhealthy foods that had caused my downward spiral. I found this hypocritical. Don’t feed me that body positive disguised bullshit as you try to sabotage me. Jealousy looks ugly on you.

It all comes back to misery loves company. Some people don’t want you to change because they’re afraid of accepting the reality that they need to improve too in their own life. And you wanting to do better makes them feel uncomfortable because they are not ready to take that step for themselves. It’s funny because the people who won’t make the sacrifices required to get somewhere in life are usually the same people who will criticize others who do put in the work to reap the rewards. They know nothing about the work it takes to get to where you are, but are the quickest to give their opinion.

If you want to be able to share your journey and growth with people that appreciate hearing about them, you need to find people that enjoy participating in the same type of experiences. That’s why gym rats tend to find each other and group together. They see your transformations as inspirational instead of intimidating and alien. They will want to encourage you, not correct you. They are capable of relating and can see themselves realistically emulating the experience. It’s a human trait to be more interested in the things you can relate to.

And part of your journey is accepting how devoted you are to attaining your goals and not dimming your intensity to please other people. This is your life, not theirs. They do not get to dictate how you should live it when you’re working hard on the road to become a better, healthier, fitter, more active you.

In the end, pay no attention to the toxic people in your life. Cut them off if you can. Not everyone is going to understand your journey and they don’t have to. But if they’re not rooting for you and able to respect your decisions, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life honestly. Cut out the negative. Trust. You’ll be better off without. Stop spending time with them. Cut them off from your life. And the people who are rooting for you and are your personal cheerleaders? Invest your time in them instead. Make them proud. Push yourself and go the distance. Use that as motivation. You should be excited for that kind of encouragement. It sucks to have negative people rooting against you, yes, but those positive people betting on you? Are your angels. Do them proud. Use that energy and turn it into even more positive energy in the gym. Spend more time with these people. Surround yourself with that aura and uplifting vibes. That’s what you deserve as you climb your wayto the top. Not that negative Nancy bullshit. And this doesn’t apply to just fitness, it applies to any positive changes and growth you try to work on and make in your life that may be met with resistance instead of encouragement and support. Don’t let those people get you down.

And if you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit. Consistency continues to be underrated and underestimated. Prove those bitches wrong, you mother effing queen.