When It Rains, It Pours

Sometimes I think I don't have a lot going on but when I take a step back, there's actually a lot going on. I also thought this year wasn't going to be so busy and that I was going to have a boring, quiet summer stuck in NY since (a) it's hard to take summer vacations at my job because I'm lower on the totem pole of vacation requests priority, (b) it's so expensive to travel in the summer and (c) I need time to recuperate from my Paris vacation financially. 

But despite being grounded in NY, I was still determined to have a fun summer and filled with activities. And I certainly did so and the summer is only beginning. Since I came home in May from Paris, nearly every day off has been filled with activities, trips to the city, birthdays, holidays, events, etc. I mean, NYC is my playground but June was probably a record for me in terms of how many times I visited. And contrary to what it looks like, NYC is actually quite a trek out for me. I'm pretty far out east on LI so it takes me about 2 hours or so to get into the city. But there isn't much to do on LI and despite all my NYC adventures, I'm forever discovering new things. I'm basically playing tourist in my own city this summer with all my adventures for the gram, going from one place to the next. I have a fresh outlook on my adventures, trying to experience and eat and see as many beautiful things as I can. My last visit with my friends, we had a list of about 10 places to hit up one day and I thought we'd only make it to 5 but nope, we did pretty much everything on my list and I even added some in towards the end of the day, hahaha! 

And surprise, surprise. Guess what, guys? I'm headed back there this weekend for yet another gram tour. This time my girl Kerri is in town visiting me from DC and she requested an entire weekend of adventures and I was pretty much like #saynomorefam. I have an ambitious list of adventures for this weekend so if you're stalking my IG stories, stay tuned. 

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It's only the beginning of July and my summer already has been pretty good filled with so much to do that I haven't had a minute to be home and and take care of my house. My living room, closet and bathroom looks like a mess. The last time I cleaned honestly was 3 weeks ago when the boy came home from a work trip. This is terrible, lol. Adulting is hard to keep up with when you're always keeping busy.

The funny thing is, my mom is really mad at me. She thinks I'm wasting my time because I'm not following the adulting timeline. You know, that cliche of get married and have kids. I did most of what I was supposed to - finish school, find a good job, buy a house and get married, but the kids part, I'm still holding off. Truth is, I still have no idea if I want them. The boy and I both agreed we're still too selfish in our lives right now to enter that next step. Or if we ever want to enter that step. And it's not that we're scared or irresponsible. Everyone knows that I would probably be pretty good at the 'mom' role since I take care of all my friends and family like a mom. And my husband is honestly the cutest. I see him with my nephews and I see how he is with family and other kids and it's absolutely adorable. He's responsible and sweet, but smart. He knows not to spoil either.
But the problem with this timeline is that it's not for everybody and that's okay. Not everyone needs to have kids and you also don't need to have kids organically. Some people believe they can never love another child other than one they have together through birth. But this is a stupid idea too. You can love someone else's kid, whether it be a stepchild, a niece or nephew, a foster child, an adopted child, etc. Hell, even a pet because a lot of people I know love their pets more than they like actually people. And love grows. And think to yourself, you had to learn to love your significant other and that wasn't 'forced' through birth or anything (unless you're a redneck, then nevermind). And you work at it every single day. You can absolutely grow to love another as long as your heart is open to it and you're willing to grow with that person. If not, then maybe you need to work on yourself some more. It's not about the kid at that point, but about your own inner demons. But I'm digressing again.
The main point is, you don't have to feel the need to take the cliche "next step" in your relationship and have kids, in order to take the next step in your relationship. Not being ready for kids doesn't make your relationship any less important or strong or successful than one that does have kids. What's important is that you both see eye to eye, work at your relationship every day and have fun with each other and still love one another every single day. Support each other. Focus on your own relationship and strengthening it and celebrating it every single day if that's your priority over kids. And you should. Relationships with your significant other is just as special and important and deserves as much attention. 
I think my mom is just pressuring me because by the time she was my age, she already had 4 kids. But I'm on a different journey and I have different ambitions. For some people, making a family is their dream and their pride and joy. And there's nothing wrong with that other than thinking that it's the only thing in life you should do. It's just not for everyone and I have different dreams, especially at this point in time. I'd rather take my time and simply enjoy being married for now. Just spending time with my husband and sharing moments with him makes me happy. Right now, I don't see that I need anything else nor want anything else to make me happy. I rarely have time with him anyway due to adulting and different schedules so right now I enjoy being selfish and just having him to myself when we do have time together. 

I also don't see this ladder of having to do anything to prove to the world anything about my relationship being successful. I don't need a baby to prove that I made the ultimate commitment to my marriage. Or to use a baby as a method of trapping him with me forever. He's already proclaimed that I'm stuck with him forever because he's got territorial/possessive issues, hahaha.
Nor is there a 'timeline' or list of events I have to do, to make sure my relationship with the boy is real. I may have followed a lot of traditional steps but that's my own thing. I chose to do those things because that's what I wanted. Those are my own values and things I cared about. Everyone is on a different path and this is mine. I cook and make work lunches for my husband because I genuinely enjoy it and I love showing him in little ways that I care. And he does the cutest things back, like buying me flowers just because, taking me to my favorite places, holding my bags for me while I shop, taking me out on ice cream dates while I'm at work and kissing me before he leaves for work in the morning. Don't just count the big gestures on holidays and events that come wrapped in bows. The every day little things are the ones that show that your significant other is listening to your needs and love language. Remember to do the same. 

Speaking of list of events though, there is actually a lot I'm trying to do before the end of the year, I realized. The year's halfway over and not only did I already do a lot but I have a lot more I want to do before 2018 is over. I also lied. I'm not going to be grounded in NY all summer. I'm leaving in about 2 and a half weeks on a small trip to Chicago, haha! I didn't plan this but my friend had some days off at the end of the month and asked me to go and I managed to get coverage for it so I figured why not? YOLO.

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Here's basically what I'm looking to do for the next upcoming months of 2018:

July

  • Parents birthdays
  • Sunflower fields
  • Chicago trip

August

  • Wedding
  • Bronx Zoo

September

  • Lantern Fest / Rafting 
  • Dragcon

October

  • NYCC
  • Wedding
  • Ipsy Genbeauty
  • Disney/Universal for birthday/wedding anniversary

I have a lot to plan and I'm actually kind of worried some of it might not happen because planning is overwhelming. But I know that if I take it a step at a time, sit down and focus, I can plan it all out and get it all done. Maybe next weekend or on my next day off where I'm actually doing nothing and not out with an entire day's worth of adventuring plans. I really need a breather every once in a while, hahaha. But like I said, when it rains, it pours and you gotta ride the wave. I'd rather be busy than not. I mean, how can I complain when my 2018 has been good to me so far? I'm definitely not having a boring year and wasting my time watching it all just fly by. Cheers to the rest of 2018!

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America, The Beautiful

Today is July 4th. I honestly feel conflicted as an American for a number of different reasons. 

I'm working today but I don't mind because I've never really minded working holidays. I also work in healthcare so there's really no such things as "holidays" there. When you work in careers like this, you're always there because this is what you signed up for. Like 911. There are no holidays or off hours for things like that. But I'm greedy and I enjoy holiday pay so I don't mind working holidays. The only downside to today is because of the nature of the holiday, my ER might be busier than usual because of firework injuries, people drinking and driving, etc. Please be safe always but more so during holidays so that you don't hurt others around you. 

I have a love hate relationship with being American, especially in this day and age. The first thing I struggle with is my identity. 

I'm Vietnamese by blood but an American citizen. And honestly, I identify more with my American side because that's how I grew up. My parents emigrated here when I was one, so American culture is a big part of how I grew up despite my parents trying to instill as much Vietnamese culture in me. I talk like a New Yorker, I dress like an American hoe, and I have more modern American ideals and values than my parent's traditional ways. But the way it's always been is that I never fit in either hood. I will never be Asian enough for my Vietnamese side no matter what I do, nor American enough for the US. I get shit from both sides. For the Viets, I can speak the language, eat the food and everything but I can tell from my mom's friends they consider me more like my trang. And for the Americans, my eyes will always be too small for them, even though by Asian standards my eyes are actually particularly large. My body type is also too fat for the Vietnamese standard and too skinny to Americans. You just can't win. But I've grown out of trying to please either side. Nowadays, my style and nature confuses both sides because of how wacky I dress.

Regardless though, I do enjoy identifying myself as American. However, during this nation's controversial times, I do also feel a sense of shame and disappointment as well. It's hard to celebrate today because of all the hate, injustice, discrimination, and inequality going on.

I wanted to shoot red, white and blue fashion looks this summer and I did but I also felt conflicted while doing so. But at the same time, I remember that while there is a lot of ugliness going on in the country right now that makes me ashamed to be American, there is also a lot of love still left in the country and there are still MANY Americans out there doing good for this country and fighting for the rights of women, POC, LGBTQ, immigrants and all those who can not fight for themselves. And there are many countrymen working hard to protect the rights and liberties of us Americans so that we can have a better life and live the American dream. And that's the part that makes me super proud to be an American. Despite all the darkness I see the country clouded in and the division, I have hope. I see the little changes here and there and I see the compassion that a lot of Americans still have to help other people and the passion they have to fight the good fight and it's truly inspiring. This country was founded by a brand of brothers working hard to achieve a common goal of freedom to build a better life and world for their families. That's what today is about.

 I want to make a difference to someone one day and be the reason they don't give up. I want my own story to inspire people and show them that small ripples still have big effects. And that you can still make it and achieve your goals, no matter how small. 

My mom and dad came here when I was one and we had nothing in our pockets. Today we are a family of seven, with 4 kids having survived and completed college and one just graduated high school this past month. From packing meager homemade sandwiches to school, we now are able to treat our parents to nice bougie restaurants and go on nice vacations. My parents still live like they're on food stamps hoarding every little thing but the reality is we no longer have to. They worked hard and taught us to work hard and build our own lives. I'm still working at it but I think I've done pretty well for myself so far even if I am struggling to keep my head above the water.

The American dream is still very much alive. You will stumble upon many obstacles on your way but adversity is what helps to build our character and gives us strength to move forward. And we should always be aiming to move forward even when others are trying to hold us back from growing and getting better. Rise above and live it everyday. 

Happy Independence Day, America! You are so beautiful in your melting pot of diversity and land of opportunities.

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Pint Shop Tasting Session

I wrote about the Pint Shop almost a month ago when they first opened. You can read about it here. I went back this weekend with my best friends so that we could experience it together, the three of us. 

Side track for a minute: If you're not familiar with me and my friends, it's usually me and my two best girls, Physics & Knives and Kaylessi. You'll notice they're in a lot of my photos and adventures with me. Together, we make the Bitches of Cosplay. We're just a trio of girls who have been friends since high school and college. We're all on different paths but we try our best to make time for each other despite adulting hiccups. Recently we've slowed down in cosplay to focus on our real lives. 

Back to the Pint Shop. I originally visited on June 7th, their second day of opening and I also visited on June 30 and let me tell you, both visits were very different. So this post is kind of like a follow up review. 

The first visit was on a Thursday but I did anticipate it to be busy since it was brand new. I imagined the weekend would be crazier since I had to wait about 30 minutes or so to get in the first time around on a weekday. So what we did naturally to avoid this wait was book a tasting session. Tickets are sold on showclix and are similar to purchasing NYCC tickets. The virtual queue is a wretched place and it's the luck of the draw if you can get in and get the day and timeslot you want. It was sold out within the hour after tickets released for this booking period.

If you have tasting tickets, you get to skip the line and go straight into the shop so you can make your appointment on time. And obviously once the tasting is over, you have immediate access to the rest of the shop. Being a weekend and that it was 100 degrees this past weekend, the tasting tickets did come in handy for being a skip-the-line ticket so we weren't standing outside dying in the sweltering summer heat waiting to get in.

Once in, we had to wait a little longer since the previous session was still cleaning up and getting ready for us. We took advantage of that time by snapping quick pics in the shop. I noticed that the shop has definitely changed since I was first there. They removed some items like the giant pink gumball machine, and some of the cute merchandise was no longer available like the sprinkle pool plushes. The area in front of the Museum of Ice Cream sign was no longer vacant and Instagram friendly for photos, but replaced with red tables and chairs for people to sit, lounge and eat their ice cream. Honestly, I hated this because it not only took away from the photo opportunity but allowed people more time in the shop as they can sit and loiter longer, making the line outside grow even more unbearable.  

The giant pints were also different. The bananas that were there last time were 2D bananas, carefully patterned and coordinated. This time they were replaced with plastic toy bananas and scattered in no particular aesthetic pattern but just there. It looked kind of cheaply thrown together compared to what it originally looked like. 
The last time I was there, the sprinkle pool pint had lost its swing on the second day! I chalked this up to a guest breaking it. But this time, it was fixed and available for cute photos. So this was one good difference. 
The final difference was another bad one though. Last time, the cherry pool pint was FILLED with cherries for you to dive into and take cute photos and boomerangs. It was that deep that you could even bury yourself and a friend inside. This time? It was a joke. The cherries were unrecognizable! They looked like giant cherry pits because they had been smushed since opening. The cherries were all being squashed by all the people going in and out of the pint with their shoes on and people not being careful. And not only were they flattened, but there was significant less of them and you could see the bottom of the 'pool' visibly. You could no longer bury yourself and "swim" in it; You could tell this was not being maintained or replenished to keep up with the original intended look. And it wasn't even a full month yet! There was still a huge line for the cherry pool but from the looks of how pathetic it was, we passed this time around. I really wish they had taken care of this better. But the rest of the shop, was in a similar array. You could see its wear and tear after only a humble 3 weeks. It wasn't being maintained very well. 

But the main point of the visit besides taking photos for the gram in the shop, was to experience what the tasting had to offer. The shop itself is free to visit as long as you're willing to wait on a first come, first serve line, but the tasting tickets were being sold at $33 a pop with a $4 service fee on top. It does come with a free pint of ice cream of your choosing, however I didn't really care for this perk since I couldn't really bring it home with me anyway since I come from Long Island. I could do without the 'free' pint factored into the ticket price. I'd rather get a coupon for the ice cream for when I can purchase it when it becomes available in Target. I loved the pink lab coats but you don't even get to keep them, nor are they available for purchase. 

The main question - is the tasting worth the splurge? Let's be real. $37 is a lot to shell out for a 30 minute tasting session. While the tasting experience itself was fun, I don't think it was worth its sticker price. Honestly, I think it's just an overpriced skip the line ticket. It goes by too fast and honestly there is not much to the tasting. You can do without it and it wouldn't take away from the free experience of the Pint Shop itself. I had a better time on my first visit here when it was just the Pint Shop itself, without the tasting. You should just go with waiting outside on a slower weekday day to visit the shop rather than pay for an overpriced skip the line ticket into a free shop unless your only option is to visit on a weekend and that day happens to be the hottest day on Earth. The experience of the tasting itself is interesting to learn, but it's all facts you can google. And the 'tasting' part itself where you learn how they make and develop flavors isn't anything to write home about either. Sure you get to try all the flavors, but you can do that in the shop too. You're allowed to sample all the flavors available at a cart inside the store. I sampled 4 of them the first visit, and this time, I was able to sample all of them. I would say Cherrylicious is probably my favorite flavor. Churro Churro is pretty good too.

I was honestly disappointed by my second visit to the Pint Shop. The tasting was a let down and the lack of upkeep and maintenance in the shop has left me disillusioned. We were also rudely told to leave after an hour of being there by one of the managers there. He was upset with us because we had a DSLR and taking a lot of photos, but isn't that the point?!? We weren't the only ones with DSLRs and this place was built for that to help generate more publicity and popularity through people sharing their photos of their visits. I understand there are people outside waiting to come in, but we had spent money on their highway robbery tasting tickets, as well as the overpriced novelty merchandise, so honestly we should have been able to freely roam and spend as much time as we pleased. But that's also why the store is not a ticketed experience but rather free and open to the public. You're allowed to browse as much as you like. Even if there was a time limit to how long you can stay in the shop, the man who shooed us out could've been nicer at handling the situatin. 

Don't get me wrong, I still love the Pint Shop and would visit time and time again, but only because it's free. The MOIC LA ticket was $29 and there was a whole lot more to experience at that exhibit than a simple 30 minute tasting session and a few cute aisles, that's for sure.  It's the only pop up I've experienced actually that I can say was actually worth its price. 

Do yourself a favor, I still recommend stopping by and experiencing this pop up, but you can really forgo the tasting. Go on a weekday, during off peak hours and with a friend who knows how to take fire shots for the gram so you can maximize your experience. And try to steer clear of that rude Nazi that monitors how long you spend in the store, but not how much money you spend. 

Here's the kicker. As poor as this experience was, I'm headed back there in another week for the ice cream social, hahaha! What is wrong with me.