I ran away upstate for the past few days on a mini vacation with my husband’s family. We were invited to visit their childhood summer vacation spot at Paradox Lake, at a cute little cottage overlooking the lake. It was a quick few days away but it was nice reset away from the mayhem that is 2020.

I wore no makeup during the time I was there, I took naps, I explored, I ate without worrying what I ate and how much I ate. I still made time to get my daily workouts in, but the remainder of it went toward spending time with family, whether it was just sitting on the balcony overlooking the water and catching up, or looking after my niece and nephews as they played in the lake. It reminded me of my own childhood, when things were simpler. It was nice to just relax without worrying what time it was or how much time has passed because you weren't on a schedule.

The cottage itself was very cozy and simple, and the way to get there was a little tricky. It was a very narrow path of unevenly placed trail of rocks, steep declines all the way down to the lake. The path was not always clear and a different turn would lead you down a different cottage and way to the beach of the lake. You had to be careful with your footing on the rocks as well, as one unsure step could risk your balance and cause you to go tumbling down. The first day was scary walking down but soon after, it got easier and started to become second nature as I became more sure footed with climbing up and down the steps.

There was definitely an abundance of nature, as my husband got nibbled at by a few small fish in the lake as he lounged in a tube float. I went running on my first day and a horde of flies followed me everywhere. On my way back, I noticed a few families out on walks carrying bug zapper rackets. That would’ve been useful to have, had I known ahead of time how bad it was going to be, lol. I had a safe run but after that day, my husband refused to let me go back out, for fear of encountering bears. I stuck to my Insanity HIIT workouts for the remainder of our time there. In the evening, sitting on the balcony, I could see bats flying around the lake, skimming for insects for their dinner. There were hummingbirds here and there, and red squirrels everywhere.

Despite the flies that pestered me, my run was a nice refreshing change of scenery. I ran in the evening, when it was much cooler, but the humidity and summer heat still had an effect on my speed and endurance. But still, I carried on to finish a 10k run for my training schedule. I’ve been enjoying finding new places to run and train at, testing my limits with new terrain and conditions. Running through heat, hills, humidity, rapidly changing elevations, light rain, stairs, and every other elemental obstacle hopefully is preparing me for whatever comes my way during January’s run. Speaking of January, November’s Wine and Dine races were just cancelled but January’s WDW Marathon weekend is still on for the time being. Fingers crossed, my race does not get cancelled as I will want to kick myself in the face for spending all these months training for it. I am prepared to get my heart broken if they do. I mean, I’ll understand why as these are unsure times, but come on, 26.2 mile training is very grueling and if they do cancel, I hope they do it sooner than later before I rack on too much mileage for naught.

This was definitely a change of pace compared to my usual vacations but it made me think. I need to pause more. I need to rest more. I need to relax more. I’m so used to the toxic hustle culture and always going, going, going. My mind is constantly racing with a million different projects I want to pursue and work on, developing gameplans for each one and trying to strategize how to tackle each one. I need to slow down, breathe and ground myself in the present moment before starting any more new projects. I need to break out of the mentality that I’m not doing “enough.”

The cottage we stayed in, had just a kitchen, bathroom and 2 bedrooms. Our bedroom was a very small little room with just enough room for the beds and that’s it. You could only climb in to literally climb into the bed. You couldn’t even stand in the room, that’s how tiny it was. I couldn’t even put my luggage in the room so I left my stuff next to the bathroom instead. We only used it to sleep in anyway, as the remainder of our time was spent outside.

The simplicity of the cottage helped me appreciate more the things I take for granted in life. If it was all taken away, I think I would still be able to survive a cottage by the lake but I do enjoy the little comforts and luxuries in life that make everything easier. Like AC and water pressure. There was no AC in the cabin, but fortunately enough the nights were very cool to sleep through. The days were a different story, as we spent most of it showering to cool off. The bathroom had indoor plumbing but very simple. The shower didn’t have much water pressure so we simply used it to rinse off and go. We were in and out of the bathroom fairly quick when given simply the bare necessities. There was no time spent “contemplating the mysteries of life” in the shower, lol.

The simplicity of the cottage also made me realize how much I want to start simplifying my own life. I want to minimize how much clutter is in my life. I need to start cleaning up further my friends’ list on Facebook, unfollow more accounts that no longer inspire me or have a place in my life, and focus more on the here and now. I want to get rid of more clothes I no longer wear and do another closet overhaul before the end of the year. I don’t want to hoard anything. I want to get rid of makeup I’ll never use and cut down on buying things unless I truly intend to use them. I’ll still buy a few trendy pieces here and there, but gone are the days of collecting stupid knick knacks and excessive shopping hauls.

It’s funny that the lake is called Paradox Lake. As I reflect, I feel like who I am today is a paradox with who I was before. But that’s how you grow, right? Sometimes I feel like I’m standing in space, and sometimes I realize how much I’ve changed since high school, college, marriage, starting my fitness journey, etc. There’s always room to grow and it’s never too late. It’s okay to change your mind. We’re conditioned to be scared to change our mind because we don’t want to admit defeat, that we were wrong, that it makes us look wishy-washy. But changing your mind is really the mark of someone who’s brave and self-aware. Someone who’s willing to try new things and has the courage to admit when they aren’t exactly working out. And we can only rise up from there. As humans, we are always growing, changing, evolving.

“I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.” - Lewis Carroll’s Alice In Wonderland.