I find that my motivation comes and goes quite drastically. A month ago, I was in one of the “dedicated and consistent” stages, self-motivated to wake up and get going every morning. I was in the gym for 1-2 hours everyday lifting and then I would go running outside for another hour to get my cardio in.

Then I went on vacation for a week and gave myself a break. When I got back, I gave myself another week of rest before I hit the gym again, telling myself I deserved a bit of a break after being so good for the past year. When I finally started again, I found myself not as motivated as I previously was. I was sleeping in longer which led to a shortened gym session since I have work in the evenings. Sometimes I would over-snooze and just skip altogether because I just didn’t have enough time before work. Some days I just wasn’t feeling it. What happened? I used to lift and run everyday on a religious basis.

This was actually what I was afraid of too when I was on a runner’s high last month. I kept going because I was afraid that if I fell off the wagon, it would be hard to find motivation to get back on. But at the same time, I knew I did want to eventually stop running for the summer season because it’s just too damn hot to run outside. And I find it extremely hard to stay on the treadmill long enough before I get bored and want to jump off so it’s hard to switch over from running outside to inside.

It’s hard in the summer running outside because my regular runs usually last an hour; that’s a long time to be outside in the heat and direct sunlight. The heat makes it harder to you to run efficiently. It sucks all the energy out of you too quick to try and keep your body cool. On top of that, I tan and get dark so easily and I hate my skin getting darker than I already am. Don't give me that "love your skin" bullshit. I have nothing against dark skin, I just don't like a darker complexion on myself personally. I can't wear certain lipstick colors because they don't look good on me, same with certain colors in clothing. I'm also not trying to get skin cancer, but mostly I'm not trying to buy a new foundation every week because I keep getting darker. I unfortunately got tan last year when I started running, despite wearing sunscreen, and I can already see the consequences of fine lines and wrinkles from it. Not a fan. I need to take better care of my skin, honestly. 

But back to the main motivation problem. It's not that I don't want to go to the gym anymore, I still enjoy it and once I'm there, I'm good and ready to work. It's just the same game with motivation in the morning as always with getting up and out of bed and going. When I was training last year it was hard to get up and go but I had to meet my trainer everyday so it held me accountable to get there. Now that I decided to work out on my own it's a lot harder to force yourself to show up everyday. I'm not as worried about being late because no one is going to be there mad at me for keeping them waiting. But maybe that's what I should do. Start working out with my trainer again to hold myself accountable. 

Maybe I just need to mix up my routines and get new gear to help break the old flow and make things exciting again to motivate me to want to get there every morning. I just got new resistance bands too because I lost my old one I got from physical therapy. I don't know what happened to it; one day I had it wrapped around my water bottle after my workout and then the next day I couldn't seem to find it anywhere. It was starting to give out with the stretch though so I was due for new bands. Maybe they will help me get back into the swing of things as I work on some new routines and stretching with the bands.

I'm also on the fence wondering if I want to invest in a Fitbit/fitness watch/tracker finally. I'm constantly on my phone anyway but sometimes I put it down to charge or leave it at my desk while I step away at work real quick for something. So for those brief moments, I'm losing steps that aren't being counted. I know it's not by much but hey, a single grain of rice can tip the scale. "For want of a nail." Every little thing can make a difference.  The only thing that’s hindering me currently is the price. The watch I’m looking at and considering is relatively pricey. I don’t want to invest in something like that unless I use it to its full potential. I feel like it would be a waste if I ended up not really using it. But all other ones are ugly. Man, the age old form vs function.

I lost my pink blender bottle too a while back. I never found it again. I want to replace that too one day when I get a chance and find the perfect pink again. For right now I've been using my blue one but it's the only one I've got right now. I liked having two to rotate out in case one needed to be washed. But I’ve been lazy about stopping by a Marshall’s to look for a good deal on them and it hasn’t been exactly a pressing matter.

The registration for the princess races is in a few days too but thanks to my travel agent Jill of Never Grow Up Vacations, I was able to sign up early! I was worried too because the races sell out quick and I wanted to do all 3 races next year, but my travel agent was able to hook me up. I’ve been so happy and excited about it for the past few days since official signing up.

At first it was just a joke but now we’re really doing it, my girl Kerri and I. We’re going to tackle on all the princess races next year! The 5k, the 10k and the half marathon back to back that weekend. Sounds so crazy right now but that’s how I felt about the half last year when Kerri signed me up. I remember being so scared last year about it; I had so many worse case scenarios in my head about what would happen if I failed. I didn’t want to come back empty handed and defeated but now that I pushed myself through it once, I know I can really do this! Through training, hard work and determination, I’ve always been able to achieve any goal I’ve set my mind to if I want it bad enough. I'm not as scared anymore having conquered the half and then going on to routinely run 10k almost every day in April so I know I can definitely do it now that I've put myself to the test, but there's still that part of you that gets nervous when the day arises. Like the first day of school jitters and you can't sleep. I’m excited to conquer this as my next bucket list benchmark but I’m also scared because after that comes the full marathon which I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for to attempt. But hey, once you conquer something, you just move onto the next mountain to climb, right? I’m working my way up there. Baby steps!

I’m also super excited because all three of my sisters will be doing the 5k with me, as well as going to Disney as a big family. I’m so stoked for this. None of them are runners, same as me, and two of them are not active at all. But I convinced them to do it with me and that we would support each other through this. I’m really excited for them to partake in this with me, and not on the sidelines this time.

And oh yes, you bet your bottom dollar, I already started brainstorming what I want to wear for the race! Upon registration, the princesses aligned with each race have been revealed and I’m excited to see that Cinderella is going to be the face of the half marathon medal. Moana is representing the 5k, Pocahontas is representing the 10k and the 3 fairies from Sleeping Beauty will be on the Fairy Tale challenge medal. I actually like all the characters chosen for the races this year compared to last year’s so even better that I chose 2020 to be the year I do the full race weekend. I have 3 new running costumes in mind and I’m already looking at sneakers to match, hahaha! It never ends. I may have slowed down in cosplay but my creative nature still lives on in other forms.

I’m hoping that setting this new goal will help put me back on track for the year. Maybe that’s what happened to my motivation. After California, I came home with no current set goals so I fell off because there wasn’t anything I was actively working on.

Hopefully in the months before it, my motivation will be back on point and I’ll be able to power through training for this. Isn’t it funny how it keeps coming back to Disney lately? I’m not a Disney blogger but they seem to just be taking over my life more and more every year somehow and lately in the last few blog posts.